CV-I

Just pimpin

2006-03-29T21:15:00.000+01:00

C&BB #14

2006-02-14T10:06:00.000Z

Claret & Blue Blood #14 posted today.

Wembley

2006-02-13T16:22:00.000Z

The new Wembley Stadium will look unbef*ckinglievable. But I already knew that. What I didn't know was that:-

It will have more toilets than any other building in the world

It will be the biggest stadium in the world with every seat under cover

The legroom for each seat will be more than in the Royal Box at the old Wembley.

Interesting stuff.

Musical Spending

2006-02-13T14:53:00.000Z

First purchases for a while, but my God they're beauts.

The Violent Dazzling by Johnny Panic is simply superb. The sound is unique, and the lyrics are great too. It's pretty funky, pretty accessible but overall it's just damn cool.

Green Day's Warning was simply the latest in my GD collection, it was on sale so it got added. Typical Green Day, what more needs to be said?

Home form continues

2006-02-13T10:40:00.000Z

Villa's shocking form at home has continued as Newcastle United became the latest team to raid Villa Park for three points. A Baros missed penalty was the big chance to equalise for the second time after Moore's header was sandwiched between soft goals from Ameobi and N'Zogbia.

The game itself apparently was winnable, and tosser Shay Given said we threw the kitchen sink at them at the end - aww he's learned English, how sweet - but we couldn't get that second equaliser. The worry, however, is "one of those games" syndrome. The problem here is that there's only so many of those games you can have before you find yourself in trouble.

Talk of relegation has re-emerged on VT over the weekend, and I think that's about right. To say we're clear would be folly. Injuries to Samuel, Gardner and Hendrie add to our woes (well, not Hendrie) and it'd be better to acknowledge that the threat remains. I personally think we'll be out of trouble shortly - but we're not yet.

Still scroll down for Kelly Clarkson and Sasha Barrese...that should cheer us all up.

CV-I Totty #4

2006-02-12T20:46:00.000Z

Ahh, time for more of that worksafe totty.

She's a singer. Apparently. She won American Idol. Apparently.

She's f*cking hot. Fact. I give you Kelly Clarkson...

CV-I Totty #3

2006-02-08T13:11:00.000Z

To you she's probably nobody. To me, she's Sasha Barrese, stunning CV-I Worksafe Totty #3. Apparently she played Courtney The Random Cute Girl in American Pie. I came across her (chuckle chuckle) on Trouble's awful "comedy" Run Of The House. I say awful but I watched it a lot. Here's why:

Note To Self

2006-02-07T18:13:00.000Z

Godbotherer + Fascist + Homophobe + Anti-Semite + Constantly Bitching About A Fictional Liberal Agenda...

= Prick of the highest order.

VT Column

2006-02-07T10:10:00.000Z

Claret & Blue Blood #13 posted today.

What A Weekend!

2006-02-06T15:00:00.000Z

Could I ask for more? Despite the occasional flash of that twat from No10's face into my head because he's a f*cking moron, it was pretty damn good - next weekend obviously has the added bonus but I knew that wasn't true this weekend, so given the circumstances I can only be chuffed.

Got my shopping done with the minimum of fuss on Saturday morning (that doesn't sound great but Asda in Waltho is a f*cker, and the buses ain't all that either). Had some lunch and plonked myself in front of Jeff and the boys, and Matt Le Tissier talked me through a stunning 4-0 Villa victory. Luke Moore hat-trick against Middlesbrough, what a fantastic day.

Yesterday I officially became a fat bastard. I had an excellent meal at Barf-unkels at Oxford Circus with dad and Becky, and two hours later I was back at the ranch scoffing Chingford Spice's finest chicken balti. Fatpants.com.

TFI Friday

2006-02-03T14:13:00.000Z

Thank FUCK it's Friday.

At work, bored, that little c*ntrag in Number Ten is being a twat as usual.

I've really enjoyed my placement at the Home Office but the last couple of days have been a real drag. I don't appreciate being spoken to like a child by some poorly-endowed fucking retard who thinks he's my boss - he ain't.

And so I'm really looking forward to leaving tonight. Might try to get out at four, get my bloody shopping done and go home. My plan tonight is to veg out in front of the TV. I'll give The IT Crowd a go, though I think it'll be wank, and then it's all about My Name Is Earl and The Friday Night Project. Barrymore's guest hosting which is bound to be genius, and The Ordinary Boys will be on too. Could be the first time I've left the song on since Fightstar. Other than that, fat munch and txting Jay all night.

Can't wait.

Top Ten Albums

2006-02-02T18:36:00.000Z

Well given the fact that I'm sitting at work twiddling my thumbs because some sad bald-headed little loner c*nt at Number 10, I thought I'd whack my top ten albums on here, as previously seen on Pelle's thread on VT.

In no particular order, and constantly changing...

1. Master Of Puppets by Metallica

2. The Real Thing by Faith No More

3. So Far...So Good...So What by Megadeth

4. Pretty Hate Machine by Nine Inch Nails

5. State Of Euphoria by Anthrax

6. Ride The Lightning by Metallica

7. The Downward Spiral by Nine Inch Nails

8. Ascendancy by Trivium

9. Boxing Clever by Farse

10. Slave To The Grind by Skid Row

Rolling back the years

2006-02-02T10:40:00.000Z

What a fucking night. WHAT a fucking night!

I left work at 1, walked to Waterloo, train to Staines (Westside!), and dad drove to the Villa. Blinding Ruby round the corner, pint in the Upper Grounds - it was just like the old days.

I sat in the Trinity for the first time in donkeys, and to be honest I wish I hadn't, though a bit of chav detox was required after sitting in the Holte started getting me a bit pissed off with our Burberry brethren.

The Villa boys, not to put too fine a point on it, were fucking brilliant. Some would say Milan Baros has proven himself to be a lazy useless c*nt, but aside from him they were fantastic.

We went down to a lucky goal (Chelsea lucky goal?!) from Arjen Robben who is a cheating, diving pile of shit. Unlike the rest of the Premiership, this served to wake Villa up a bit and we quickly earned a penalty when John Terry started playing basketball inside his own box. Oh no hang on a sec...

Penalty NOT GIVEN because Rob Styles is a twat. I hope someone poisons the fucker, if I ever meet him I'll take his head off. Prick. Fans, players and Aitken were furious. Couldn't see O'Leary - I imagine he was going mental, it was truly disgraceful.

Speaking of handballs - they were all at it. It's a sign of petulant foreign players being frustrated if you ask me. Minor point, but Hernan Crespo was booked for punching the ball towards the goal. If it had gone in it would've been red, so in failing to do what he tried he saved his skin. The intent was there - should've been red, but fuck it we pissed all over the bastards anyway.

Baros dawdled around until about the 75th minute when he and The 'Messiah' were replaced by Pablo and Luke Moore. Mark Delaney went on a mazy run and broke into the box, and held on...held on...held on for as long as he could before sliding a pass into the goalmouth, where Christ knows what happened but Luke Moore eventually tucked the ball home. And my god did we deserve it.

Baros was shite, JLloyd was absolutely superb. Deserved a win, very happy with the boys, roll on Boro.

Billy Bob, where's ma shoodin' pistol?

2006-01-31T20:43:00.000Z

C&BB #12

2006-01-31T10:04:00.000Z

Claret & Blue Blood #12 posted today.

CV-I Totty #2

2006-01-30T15:56:00.000Z

Gentlemen, she might be more my taste than yours but she's a stunner in my book...Amy Lee.

FA Cup 5th Round Draw

2006-01-30T13:37:00.000Z

I understand fully that to win the cup you have to beat the good sides at some point. But this draw is proof that Chelsea get all the f*cking luck. If they beat Everton they play Colchester. At home.

We get Man City at home. Shit.

Magic of the FA Cup? Bollocks.

2006-01-30T11:22:00.000Z

I have decided as a Premiership supporter that the FA Cup, whilst it is magical in certain senses, also has a negative side.

That negative side is this: Shitty little clubs like Port Vale send 7,000 fans to Villa Park. And, frankly, they're c*nts. It hasn't been reported anywhere but there were several nasty incidents after the game on Saturday, all from what I saw started by wanker clay heads who didn't know how to handle the spotlight. The FA Cup provides hooligans at Mickey Mouse little hick clubs the chance to go and prove themselves.

Put simply, it went off. Outside the North Stand, and from there all the way up to Witton station where from what I could see the f*ckers were causing mayhem. Note this does NOT happen after every Villa game.

A firework was set off by the roundabout where it was very busy. It went off at ankle level. It kicked off on trains, on platforms. I remember one muggy clay head talking bollocks out of the window of the train before trying to spit at Villa fans on the opposite platform. That's a big distance, even this twat must have known it wouldn't reach.

So...for these games, keep the away allocation down. Fuck them if they don't get tickets. If they were real fans they'd get bigger attendances at their home games. Don't give them the chance to think they're in the big league and cause trouble because they're jealous that we're a bigger and better club than they could dream of.

From the horse's mouth...

2006-01-27T17:06:00.000Z

"I am the one managing the players and selecting the team, so what happens with regard to the results is down to me."

Who said that?

David O'Leary, 29th November 2003.

And there was me thinking he was untouchable.

Group Of Death...

2006-01-27T11:49:00.000Z

...from boredom.

England's Qualifying Group D for Euro 2008:

England
Croatia
Russia
Israel
Estonia
Macedonia
Andorra

Yaaaawwwwwwn.

CV-I Totty #1

2006-01-26T11:11:00.000Z

Well, I've lasted a few days on my new blog without it, but the blogtotty was inevitable. Not totty in the RantinRob sense, of course, but work-safe, fully-clothed totty for all the family.

Introducing...Joss Stone.

For Sale...

2006-01-26T10:30:00.000Z

Football club available for just £64.9 million. One reckless owner. Crap financial performance, crap on the field performance, going down the fucking pan.

Villa's Interim Results

You decide...

2006-01-25T19:18:00.000Z

Villa Worldwide

2006-01-25T13:34:00.000Z

We really do have fans from some unexpected places. This lunchtime I bought three tickets to Charlton away, two being for slovenian from VillaTalk and his mate. There's markets out there for fuck's sake, why aren't we exploiting them?

Good on you Matjaz, much respect for coming over to London and getting to a game while you're here.

C&BB #11

2006-01-25T11:11:00.000Z

Claret & Blue Blood #11 posted today.

That feckin' whale

2006-01-24T16:34:00.000Z

From BBC News. Sort of.

Muchos credit to victie1 at VillaTalk.com.

Best PQ Answer EVER!

2006-01-24T10:42:00.000Z

On 16th December 2005, Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott visited Brighton and Hove Albion Football Club. He accepted hospitality from the club, which he'd granted permission for a new stadium in October.

Constituency MP Norman Baker asked a Parliamentary Question to establish whether Mr Prescott had taken advice from officials before accepting this hospitality. The question was answered by Jim Fitzpatrick, a junior Minister at ODPM. The answer?

"The hospitality provided to Mr Prescott by Brighton and Hove Albion consisted of a steak and kidney pie and a glass of water in the creche temporarily being used as the directors' box."

Superb.

Gary Neville is a goon

2006-01-23T09:58:00.000Z

After rushing the length of the pitch to celebrate Rio Ferdinand's winning goal in front of the Liverpool fans, Gary Neville proceeded to jump around like a twat and then try to grab his badge to show them what he was on about. He failed.

Brother Phil: "My brother always celebrates like that when we beat Liverpool. It means a lot to him and I think people should just let it go."

Well why didn't you say so? That's okay then, nothing to see here.

When the blood of the innocent touches the ground...

2006-01-22T20:33:00.000Z